How to Manage Expectations at Christmas Instead of Stressing Out:

Christmas can be an extremely stressful time, especially when you have to manage expectations. When you are busy, trying to ensure that everyone – including yourself has a nice time, it can be really difficult to stay on top of feeling good. Here are some suggestions on how to manage expectations at Christmas instead of stressing out. 

What kind of expectations can be managed? 

• Social engagements
• Spending and gifting: finances
• Food arrangements and dietary requirements
• Family relationships

There are more, but we will mainly be looking at how you can tackle these areas and manage expectations instead of stressing out. 

Stressing out and not-so-social?

It’s hard to keep everyone happy – but setting firm boundaries over what you will and won’t do, can help you to manage your own stress levels. 

Do you have a clear picture of what you will and won’t be doing over the festive season, or do you normally lean towards trying to keep everyone happy at your own expense? If you struggle with people-pleasing – get in touch for some help setting boundaries, you can book an hours wellbeing session with me if you feel like you need an extra booster. Or contact me for a free worksheet around this.

Finances making you fret?

Financial stress is one of the biggest causes of stress during the holiday season. Help-lines are often busier than normal with callers over-extending themselves and using poor forms of credit to see themselves through the holidays, then impacting the start of their new year.
It can be helpful to remember that those you love are happy with your presence rather than the grand gesture of a present that you can ill afford.

If you are struggling, you can contact one of the following for financial advice:

• Citizens Advice
• Money Advice Service
• Samaritans – call on 116 123

Staying active and walking can help with releasing the stress and keeping anxiety levels at bay too. (Not to mention alleviating the cabin fever that comes with being stuck inside with kids during the Christmas holidays!)

When food becomes a fight:

Whatever reasons your family has for making festive food a battle that raises your blood pressure, it’s okay to not do what everyone else is doing.

Perhaps you have additional needs, different diets or sensory issues that prevent you from plating up the same things all around. You can try:

• Deciding on a meal that you know works for everyone
• Preparing a menu so that those who feel better with routine won’t be surprised
• Ordering food in if that’s an option financially
• Going out to eat so that you aren’t responsible for that portion of the day
• Take ‘safe’ foods with you if you are going somewhere else

Keeping things calm, relaxed and manageable is far more important than doing what ‘should’ be done. It’s your holiday too. Do whatever works for you and enables you to enjoy your time as well, as much as is physically possible without raising stress levels beyond practical. 

Festive Family Frustrations?

It is not your job to keep everybody happy. There are many reasons why you might find family relations difficult during the holidays, from awkward in-laws, toxic family members, the negative history that you don’t want to re-live year in year out. Whatever it might be for you, here are some simple things you can do to look after yourself when things get too much:

• Practise saying “no”. No is a full sentence and you are allowed to decline invitations, conversations or activities that you don’t want to take part in. 
• Stay active – get out of the house for a walk, keep yourself feeling as good as you can. If you are stressing out and can feel your mental health taking a dip – moving more will help to elevate your own mood, and a change of scene can be helpful to reset mentally.
• Mindfulness – Focusing on the here and now, reminding yourself that thoughts are not facts, and for visualisations see the blog post here.

Take time for yourself over the holidays, check-in with how you are feeling and give yourself space to breathe. If you need support for your mental wellbeing – you can reach out to any of the services listed in the image below.