Parents are stressed. FACT

3 reasons modern parents are stressed

Modern parents have a lot on their plate. (You probably don’t need telling) But; here’s 3 reasons why parents may feel stressed:

So, with it being no big secret that you may well be feeling stressed, busy, and rushed off your feet – how do you manage to then also stay on top of your well-being and general mental health?

In between trying to have a social life, and a career and managing the ever-changing needs of your family; WHERE do you fit in? What do you do for yourself to alleviate stress, reduce stress and ensure that you have the support needed to ensure that stress itself doesn’t become too big of a problem?

First off – you need to know this. Feeling stressed as a parent isn’t always bad – and there are things you can do about it.

Stress can be a good thing, did you know?

A little bit of stress is beneficial for you because it helps with staying motivated and focused. So stress allows you to be more productive and effective in achieving your goals. You need that in your life! Motivation allows you to achieve things – good for your mental health.

Stress can also help you to stay alert and aware of your surroundings, allowing you to make better decisions, for example, keeping yourself and your family safe when driving. If you fall into depression due to overexposure to stress without a break; your ability to make effective decisions can be impaired, and that can lead to a bad cycle where things get out of control.

Lastly, stress can help you to develop resilience, enabling you to cope better with difficult situations in the future. This is where small amounts of stress enable us to expand our comfort zones and develop our capacity to endure things – but just like rubber bands, without easing the tension now and then; something will snap.

What does being a stressed parent mean for your family?

So, when life as a parent stops you from managing stress in a healthy way – it has a knock-on effect on the people closest to you. Like dominos, you start to knock others down. When you as a parent are stressed, it can have a negative impact on your children. Even though that’s the last thing you want!

Stress leads to irritability and difficulty in communication, which leads to arguments and tension in the home. Do you know when you’re just annoyed? Kids are ratty, you’ve had enough… It can also lead to a lack of patience, understanding, and empathy, which can cause children to feel anxious, depressed, or even insecure.

Stress can also lead to a lack of energy and enthusiasm in parenting, leading to children feeling neglected or ignored. Ultimately, it’s important to take care of yourself as a parent and find healthy ways to manage your stress so that you can be the best parent possible for your children.

What can you do about feeling so stressed?

• Evaluate what’s going on for you that’s causing the most stress

• Set a goal to change something (here’s a free self-care goal sheet too!)

• Take one small action at a time, look at the NHS’s five pillars of well-being for example, “1. Connect with other people · 2. Be physically active · 3. Learn new skills · 4. Give to others · 5. Pay attention to the present moment (mindfulness).”

• Talk about it – sharing how you are feeling normalises it. Letting your children and your partner know what is happening for you can encourage them to share too. It opens up the lines of communication and removes the stigma that often hangs over experiencing negative feelings or going through a patch of poor mental health. The more you allow yourself to show that it’s okay and you’re doing something to look after your mental well-being in the same way that you would if you had a cold, or flu – the easier it will be for the next generation to do the same.

• Empower yourself with knowledge by reading things, just like this blog post! Listen to podcasts, and watch videos.

• Learn your signs – the better you know when enough is enough, the quicker you can take action. If you don’t know what works best for you when you’re feeling stressed, anxious or depressed – try things out. Keep what works and ditch the rest. Just because it works for someone else doesn’t mean you will get on with it too. (Try a Sanity Saver workshop to learn more)