5 Ways of Thinking That Can Affect You And Your Kids
Having kids means extra responsibilities. Extra things to think of, entire extra PEOPLE That add extra stress to your life. It’s common for parents to put yourself at the bottom of the to do list. Stress can affect you, and the people around you.
You can look after your mental well-being, by taking a look at how your own thought patterns can affect not only your but your family’s mental well-being – and what you can do to get back to an almost zen-like state! (No promises can be made for just how zen you are though!)
5 negative thoughts that affect your and your children’s mental well-being
-
“I’m rubbish at this“
- Self-doubt, low self-esteem and insecurity, can cause you to have feelings of anxiety, depression, and even anger! When you’re feeling anxious or irritable – this has a knock on the day-to-day routine. Who wants to do a school run when you feel rubbish?
-
“I’ll just have one, it’s been a long day”
- When you turn to unhealthy behaviours, such as excessive drinking, smoking, and drug use, it’s a temporary fix but has a long-term impact on your mental and physical health. Not only that, when you do a morning routine carrying the aftermath of the ‘night before’ such as a fuzzy head, dry mouth and tired from poor sleep – you guessed it. You feel like death. These kinds of behaviours can heighten feelings of stress, anxiety and depression. Alcohol may lighten the mood at the moment, but it’s naturally a depressant, so even drinking 2-3 times a week can really weigh you down as you’re trying to move forward. If it’s something you struggle with – check the free signposting pack on our resources page for information on organisations that can help.
-
“It’s ALL rubbish – and it’s ALWAYS going to be like that.“
- Black and White, All or Nothing or generally negative thinking can lead to negative relationships, and make it harder to maintain healthy relationships with others. This can also permeate conversations with your children – with a lack of optimism becoming the norm and generating frustration at every corner when you really want to work together to find solutions.
-
“I don’t want to do this”
- A lack of motivation makes it difficult for you to reach goals and achieve success. When you’re feeling like this, or the kids are feeling like this – you might find yourself in a real battle of wills. Being able to work your way through those days will save you all time and energy with arguments.
-
“EVERYTHING is going wrong! There’s no point even trying because that will go badly too”
- Catastrophising and generalising can lead to difficulties in problem-solving, and a pessimistic view of the world. When you’re struggling to find any positives, it’s hard to see solutions. If you find yourself feeling like this more and more frequently – or notice it in your children, know that you can take action and find a more balanced view again.
So, how does stress affect you?
Stress is a bodily response to perceived pressure – as mentioned in last week’s blog post – some stress is good for us, it enables us to stay safe, and to meet the demands of life. But too much stress can elevate hormone levels within the body. These hormone levels also activate our immune systems. High levels of stress also trigger the fight or flight response within our bodies.
You can learn healthy ways to cope with stress. When you have good ways to manage – you feel empowered and capable. You naturally teach your children good coping techniques by living as an example. Seeing you being human, and dealing with stress in a way that shows it’s okay to try new things allows them to know nobody gets it right the first time. It will be easier to enable them to feel in control and aware of what they can and can’t handle. Feeling more secure and able to deal with stress also makes it easier to ask for support in these situations.
When your children see you leading the way they’ll also find it easier to reach out for help as different life events come up for them as they grow up. So many positives – just being here reading this is a great first step. Maybe you can talk about what you’ve been reading with them?
How can you help yourself?
- Learn about what your triggers are – what makes you feel most stressed? How do you tend to respond in those situations? Can you avoid these triggers or change your routine so that they aren’t an issue?
- Look for areas that you could make changes – If you aren’t happy with how you respond, what will you do differently? Could you try something new? Where would you learn about that? (Check out our resources page or workshops for inspiration!)
- Supercharge your support systems. When did you last get a babysitter? Do you swap child-free days or mornings with other parents? Could you start a small babysitting circle? Reach out using school groups, childcare websites and local forums. Has your social circle changed as an adult/parent? Healthy, supportive friendships really do help to lift you up and create a sense of belonging. Look into classes, community groups or try apps like peanut or meetup to broaden your circle.
- Sort out your sleep – developing healthier sleep habits can impact your ability to deal with stress in a really good way. Being fatigued has a knock on effect for tolerance, patience and mood. Children with poor sleep can also struggle – which leads to those battles in the morning and the end of the day when everyone is overtired. Some tips for better sleep include: limiting screen time, avoiding caffeine and alcohol before sleeping and starting a bedtime routine to cue your body that it’s time to rest.
- Kind, Compassionate Care for yourself – Go easy on yourself. When you and your kids can be kinder to yourselves in those moments of high stress – you are all human, and nobody is perfect; it reduces the pressure that you may internally place on yourself to perform well all the time. If you aren’t sure what to do, try ‘best-friending’ it. If your best friend was in a similar scenario, what would you say to them?
What now?
For more about teen and pre-teen wellbeing, and how you can support your children through school, exam stress and growing pressure whilst maintaining good wellbeing, register for one of the Wellbeing And You workshops held online via the workshops page.
For other wellbeing ideas, support or training for your family, team or business – check out the rest of the site, or get in touch.
Don’t forget to sign up to the newsletter for weekly tips, recommendations and up to date news about training or workshops!
References:
www.mentalhealth.org.uk
Recent Comments