Bedtime is a nightmare!
Is bedtime so stressful that it’s leaving you with no time for yourself?
Who thought before becoming a parent that you’d have so much to say about getting somebody else, to go to sleep? When bedtime is so stressful you dread it – it can leave you dreading putting the kids to bed, your family suffer as a result! It doesn’t need to be like that.
For parents, bedtime issues can become a real point of stress. When bedtime is taking too long, or when bedtime is so stressful – it can start to have a knock-on effect on the day as time draws closer, and the day after – you’re left overtired, and cranky. And that’s not just the kids.
There’s loads of stuff out there on how to improve bedtime habits for adults and children alike.
You can try:
- having a consistent routine
- a similar bedtime each day
- removing screentime or food and drink an hour before going to bed
- creating a calm environment to help make things easier to be able to get to sleep.
I’m not a Sleep Expert, but I do want to talk about the importance of getting that sleep routine sorted so that you get your evening back – and feel better again.
Why is bedtime important?
Bedtime signals the end of the ‘parenting’ day – whether a single parent or coupled up. That’s the sign you get to breathe again, and it can feel a bit pressured to ‘get them to sleep’. With people feeling like their “child is out of control” or they have somehow failed if the kids aren’t straight out. That’s not cool. You are not a magician. (Unless you are, in which case – awesome)
That’s a lot of pressure – and as the battle for sound asleep children eats into your evening, you are left feeling like you’ve had no time for yourself, no space to unwind child-free. Nobody needs that amount of pressure when bedtime is so stressful. For working parents, this means no time to decompress before working again the next day, alongside everything that running a house and raising your family entails as well. That time is important.
For kids – if they can sense the pressure to fall asleep immediately – that must feel like a really difficult task?! When did you last get told you had to fall asleep in the blink of an eye?
Letting go of the pressure on both sides can help too, when all you are seeing are the bedtime issues – it doesn’t leave much space to focus on the good things, and can even prevent you from being able to relax at bedtime if the anxiety around having ‘yet another stressful bedtime’ is creeping in – how are you meant to enjoy that time if you are dreading it in anticipation of it sucking away your energy?
Bedtimes are important, and it can feel never-ending when it’s not going to plan. But bedtime issues don’t have to be the worst thing ever.
What can you do about it?
Decide on a plan to make bedtime less stressful. Whichever sleep routine/rules/way you want to tackle things, decide and stick to it. Do it for yourself, bring in extra support if you need to, in the form of a friend, family member or sleep nanny! Find what works for you and your family.
Easier said than done, but don’t worry about what other people are doing – if it works for them, great – it doesn’t mean it’s right for you. Reach out to me for support if I can help with anything, but reaching a level of acceptance that you are doing what works for your family will help. Social media shows a highlight reel – I can guarantee others are struggling too. Honest! They really are!
Whilst you are still battling – use other ways to get some time for yourself. Get a babysitter, take time out during the day. Use my 10 ways to take 10 minutes guide to look after yourself so that you can approach bedtime with fresh eyes.
Remember that this is temporary. That you will move through this. That there is support out there for you. If you want to get in touch, please do, I’m always happy to chat.
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