Your Teenager is Self Harming?

Are you worried your teenager is self-harming?

Perhaps you aren’t sure what would count as self-harm? How do you know that your teenager’s self-harming? Or how to approach them with your thoughts?

It’s okay to be worried, and if your teenager is self-harming, I’d like to reassure you that it doesn’t mean that they want to die. There are many reasons why people self-harm, and getting educated about what it is, why it happens and what you can do to support them can be really helpful.

What is self-harm?

If your teenager is self-harming, and has come to you and told you, you might be searching for answers. Or you might have noticed that something doesn’t seem right and want to arm yourself with as much information as possible before you go in guns blazing. Self-harm, as the term states, is intentional harm to self. There are many forms this can take. And it is often stigmatised by the media.

*WARNING* this list may be upsetting to read

 

Why do people self-harm?

There are a number of reasons why people self-harm – too many to list them all here. But as an overview, some of the reasons why people may self-harm can be for a sense of release, to feel something when they may find themselves feeling numb. To isolate a physical feeling when emotions may be overwhelming or thoughts may be racing or too many. Some may self-harm as a way of dealing with something that has happened or is happening. To gain a sense of control. Others don’t really know for sure why they are doing it, but it can be hard to stop once started. Whatever the reasons are – there is help available.

It’s not limited to just teens, there are many adults who self harm as well, adults or teens may self-harm for reasons such as job loss, bullying at work or school/college, pressure, low self-esteem, difficulty with stress or other feelings such as depression, anxiety, bereavement. There may be body image worries, homophobia, LGBTQ+ mental health problems,

 

What can you do if you suspect or are worried your teenager is self-harming?

First – stay calm. Gather as much information as you can.

Practise what you want to say, so that you can be prepared, and be supportive, rather than reactive.

Whatever you may think – this is a way of coping with emotions, or distress, and your teen needs your support; not your judgement.

Remind them that you love them unconditionally, for example, let them know you are there no matter what, that you love them whatever they do, that there is nothing they can do that will stop you from loving them. Ask what you can do to support them, or how they would like you to support them, whether that be communicating more regularly, just staying with them but not asking questions. Build a plan for how you can move forward together. That may be working things out at home, getting the help of a counsellor or support from school pastoral care services or your GP.

Some useful contacts for yourself and your teen:

• Your GP – If worried your teen is self-harming, they can support you as well as your teenager.
• Samaritans – Tel: 116 123 (UK only) – 24/7 support line for anyone who needs to talk
• Harmless.org.uk – User-led organisation providing support for people who self harm, and their families
• Young minds – Parent Helpline: 0808 802 5544 – Providing support for parents, and also a crisis messenger text service you can give your kids the number: 852852 and they can text the letters YM and get a response. If your teenager is self-harming you can call for advice, or to speak about how you are feeling.

 

Finally, if you would still like to learn more about self-harm, or other mental health conditions – as there is simply too much to list everything here or be able to answer every question in one article – please register for one of my upcoming courses, in either Mental Health Awareness or First Aid for Youth Mental Health. Taking a course in First Aid for Mental Health could arm you with the knowledge to spot the signs and support a loved one or colleague before it gets to this point. Book your course here.